Michigan Sucks.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the greatest week of the year when it comes to being a Buckeye.  It's that time of the year where jokes about cheerleaders grazing on grass, students changing lightbulbs, and just general hatred flows like water out of a faucet.

That's right, it's Michigan week.


I thought about going over all of the reasons why we're going to win the game this Saturday at Ohio Stadium, but honestly, I think most everyone has their own lists and reasons and, with that being said, I'm going to break away from that and simply write about anything that comes to mind regarding this.

My first true taste of Ohio State-Michigan came in the form of making the trip to Ann Arbor in 1999.  The Buckeyes were 6-5 and needed a win to get into bowl contention.  Somewhere over the course of this season, I discovered that I had a tremendous hatred for Steve Bellisari, the quarterback of the Buckeyes who should have been playing something like Safety or Tight End.  The season started out alright enough, but started a downward swing when people began to realize that Bellisari, or "Jackass" as I have referred to him ever since this game, did in fact suck a massive amount of shit.

First off, Ann Arbor is a shitty town.  I refuse to call it a city, because it isn't.  It's a piece of shit town in the middle of fucking nowhere Michigan.  If you want to see it, just look it up.  It isn't worth driving the three to four hours just to see it.  I don't care if I even had tickets to the game.  I went once, and it was one of the worst times ever.  You end up having to park on the golf course that's across from the stadium and, if you get there closer to game time, you have to walk a lot farther than you should.  Also, the students there seem to have this penchant for throwing batteries at you.  I was pegged a couple of times with AA batteries (Insert Appy State joke here) while my friends and I attempted to get to the stadium.

The stadium itself is a shithole in itself, even if these renovations changed it.  It's not as loud as people make it out to be and extremely terrible when it comes to the layout.  If your seat is down at the field level, you've got yourself a long walk....and a long climb back up due to the fact it's built into the ground.

Anyways, the game itself in 1999 was pretty much what I expected:  Come out with our hair on fire, actually be competitive, and then promptly shit the bed at the end of the game.  It was painful to watch, but at that point, I was hooked on the tradition itself.

The next year was terrible, but led to the hiring of Jim Tressel, who has absolutely owned Michigan since stepping on campus in 2001.  Going up to Ann Arbor in 2001 with Jonathan Wells and a bag of potato chips surprised everyone when the Buckeyes pulled a 26-21 upset, leading the way for cautious optimism into the 2002 campaign....which we all know ended with a National Championship.  Heart attack after heart attack took several years off of my life, but I'll never forget my reaction when Will Allen picked off John Navarre to send the Buckeyes to the championship.  Standing there with Rick and Luke, exploding in joy and rushing the field....seriously one of the greatest moments in sports for me.

It would be trumped against Miami in January.

Watching Dorsey drop back and get chased by Cie Grant, a desperation pass was flung and knocked down by Donnie Nickey and Matt Wilhelm.  With many people crammed into my basement apartment, we exploded once again and ran out of the apartment, temperatures roughly at 20 degrees, and simply finding the first person we could and hugging them.  It didn't matter if we knew each other or not.  At that moment, we all had one thing in common:  We were all Buckeyes.

It has officially been 2,662 days since Michigan last beat Ohio State.  Yes, we keep track of this.  JT has owned the decade when it comes to this game, and we all hope the same thing continues for the next decade.  While Michigan has a weapon on offense that only a couple of teams have managed to slow down this year, their defense is flat out awful.  They are arguably the worst unit in the country.  With an offense that can easily bowl over them, I would expect a high amount of rushing yards and at least a two touchdown victory.

Honestly, I could write about this all night.  The fact of the matter is, though, is that I want to save some more of this for later in the week as The Game draws closer.

Here's to Ohio State whipping Michigan's ass once again.

Here's to Jim Tressel owning Dick Rod.

Here's to hoping that Michigan is annexed to Canada.

And here's to being a Buckeye.