Ah yes, the wonderful world of blogging. It's an art form that has been around since the internet became bigger than the news of O.J. Simpson running from the cops or the day that Crystal Pepsi was released. Regardless of the level of enthusiasm that one shows when it comes to writing about their personal feelings and thoughts on the internet to share with whoever the hell is bored enough to read through it, I'm going to write about random things through my daily experiences. I hope you get some form of entertainment out of them, at least. If anything, it gives me the chance to vent without actually opening my mouth at any point in this.
It's not a shocking piece of news that there are plenty of ignorant and generally stupid people out there in this world of ours. Sometimes, though, there are special moments in our daily lives that make us seriously want to document just how far someone jumped over the line and if anyone was injured in the process. I witnessed a one of these leaps and bounds today while out and about.
I've never been a big fan of people who seem to be lost when they are driving. Let's face it: About fifty percent of the population probably skated by on their driver's exam when they were sixteen while the instructor just simply hoped to survive the ordeal in one piece. I firmly believe in re-testing at certain ages, especially if you were one of those people who got a 76 on their exam when the passing score was a 75. These people scare me, and I swear that they are all over the Columbus area, especially on Sawmill. Now, back when I took my test in 1997, things were a little bit different. The internet was just beginning to show signs of booming, cell phones were getting smaller but were still out of the dot matrix format and bulky as hell while texting wasn't even a mere thought. Hell, Google wouldn't be founded for another year. So, when I took my test, things were pretty simple on the roads. I had a relatively easy time passing my test and, in the couple of years afterward, I found that most people in the town I went to high school in actually knew how to drive. Tourists, on the other hand, especially those from the city (I'm looking at you, Minneapolis), pretty much stuck their thumbs up their asses and attempted to drive in that position. This would be foreshadowing, although I wouldn't know it for some time.
For the past eleven years, I have lived in Columbus, whether it be on campus or in the suburban areas of the city. It wouldn't be until about 2005, the year that I really kicked into high gear with officiating and traveling to many high schools, that I realized the level of stupidity that people exerted while on the road. It's only gotten worse since then, with little to no sign of improvement.
Now, I'm not saying that everyone is a terrible driver. There are people out there who actually know how to operate a one ton vehicle doing 70 miles an hour without screwing it up. The problem with this, though, is that for every one person that knows how to drive, there are twenty others that don't. I don't think I'm in the wrong when I say that the operationally challenged far outweigh those who aren't.
So, today, I was doing some general errands. Hitting up the grocery store, getting a haircut, nothing out of the ordinary. During my roughly three hour trek, I would drive maybe twenty to thirty minutes of that time. Now, I live in Dublin just off of Sawmill. When I do my errands, it is a rarity for me to actually leave the Sawmill area because I have access to everything that I need off of that road. Of course, this is one of the busiest damn streets in the city, and it is chalk full of people who were probably dreaming of the hot chick in high school when it came time to learn about properly merging into traffic.
The first Darwin Nominee comes in the form of a woman driving a little red Alero. I'll let the sexists get their laughs in right now as they sit here and say "Hahahaha women can't drive!" before continuing. Honestly, I've found that the gender of a person is not what determines their stupidity behind the wheel of a car. In this case, though, this woman managed to block traffic in a very unique way: A failed tailgate attempt while turning.
For those who are not familiar with Columbus, let me tell you about this intersection I was at. About halfway up Sawmill, there is a Sam's Club and Home Depot. There is a road that splits Sawmill, creating an intersection that has a stop light. Nothing new to anyone who has driven a car. Now, we all know that tailgaters exist, and be damned if I don't hate every last one of them. These are the people who will ride your bumper if you are waiting to turn left at one of these intersections. It doesn't matter if you are just past your line, sitting in the intersection, or actually waiting behind the line: They are going to follow you no matter what. Extra forty-five seconds of waiting be damned: They have shit that needs to get done now!
This woman, however, managed to screw this up in a rather epic way. With the car in front of her pulled into the intersection, the light turns yellow. This car, having actually paid attention to the rules of driving, waited for oncoming traffic to stop, then completed her turn....leaving said tailgater behind her, a good third of the way out in the intersection. There was no way in hell she had any intention other than to follow the car in front of her, but low and behold, it seemed as if she had an important text message to answer! It was easy to tell, considering she had her head down and was obviously focused, but the real good part comes next. The people in the turn lanes have now begun to turn onto Sawmill while this woman answers her text message....then proceed to get put into a clusterfuck of epic proportions when the woman realizes she missed her opportunity to tailgate the person in front of her and decided to turn anyways, creating a near accident and definitely blocking traffic. This is what we call in the internet world an epic failure.
Instead of getting mad, I'm sitting a couple cars back of the line laughing hysterically. See, without there being an accident, things instantly become funny in a situation like this, especially when I'm in no rush to get anywhere and enjoy things like this. I get amusement out of the stupidity of others, especially in a case like this. It would take a good thirty seconds of horn blasting and random gestures, most of which were not better than R-Rated, before the jam was resolved and normal traffic resumed. The beauty of this, though, is that the woman in the Alero thought she had done nothing wrong and was flipping the double bird to the people she was blocking. All it takes it to point at the light, make her realize she was in the wrong, and watch as her face goes completely pale.
So, your lesson for the day: Ignorance comes in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and packages. Try to avoid them at all costs.
This is your rant of the day.
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